Forgive yourself for not having the foresight to know what seems so obvious in hindsight. – Judy Belmont
When we come to midlife and look at our lives, we’ll find that we’ve accomplished quite a bit – lots of wins, small and big. Everyone has lots of wins. At the same time, some of us will also remember the mistakes and the things that didn’t turn out quite as we had dreamed. Everyone has those too.
The key is to keep those mistakes in perspective, and not allow them to overtake us. Beating ourselves up isn’t helpful. It sucks up our energy – energy we could be using for all sorts of fun and good things.
This needs lots of self-compassion and self-forgiveness. We humans all make mistakes and poor choices from time to time. Those mistakes are not who we are.
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This starts with accepting what is – who you are and where you are. You are not perfect. No one is.
📌 Forgive yourself for not having the foresight to know what seems so obvious in hindsight.
All those “I wish I would have…”, “Why didn’t anyone tell me…”, “That was so stupid of me…” are not helping you change the situation. They are keeping you from living and enjoying the things you have in life now.
🤔 Learn from the experience. Firstly, remember you did the best you could with the skills and mindsets you had at the time. You know better now – it’s from your life’s experiences and the learning you have done since that time.
🤔 Mindfully consider what led you to make those decisions. What was going on in your life at the time? What needs were you trying to meet?
🤔 Then contemplate on what wisdom can you gain from your new realizations. As applicable, what can you do differently? How can your learnings be helpful to others?
🎯 Forgive yourself for whatever it is. Be as specific as possible. Look into the mirror and say it out loud in a full sentence. “I forgive you for [making that choice, for staying in that situation for so long, for saying what you did].”
