You’ve carved out the time and space for Plex. You’ve got something in mind that you know (or think) you’ll really enjoy. But when you try to get into it, you’re just… not there. You’re physically present but mentally checked out. It might just be that you have too much “brake” on.
Emily Nagoski talks about this with her dual control system of brakes and accelerators metaphor (she mostly applies it to sex and libido, but this concept totally works for Plex too). These two work together to regulate engagement. She explains that the accelerator is what turns you on—it’s the stuff that makes you feel excited, engaged, or energized. The brakes, on the other hand, are the “turn off” signals—the stress, the mental load, all the things that keep you from fully being in the moment.
When we’re in a place where we can Plex, it’s not always about adding more fun or excitement into the situation—it’s about figuring out how to let go of some of the things that are weighing us down. Even if the accelerator is revved up with a fun activity or a plan you’re excited about, if the brakes are still engaged, you won’t be able to get fully into the experience. Maybe it’s the to-do list running in the back of your mind, or feeling distracted by life’s demands. It’s hard to let go of everything else when the brakes are firmly on.
But here’s the thing: you don’t need to force more Plex into your life. The trick is to ease off the brakes. Let go of the mental clutter for a while. Stop worrying about everything else you could be doing and just let yourself be in the moment. It’s like pressing pause on the stress and giving yourself permission to just be. The to-do list, the work, the worries—they’ll all be waiting for you when you’re done. And the cool part is, when you come back to them after letting yourself really enjoy some Plex, you might find you have a fresh perspective, renewed energy, and a bit more clarity.
So, what does this look like in action? It’s about finding the right balance between the accelerator and the brakes. Your level of engagement in any moment is determined by how much the accelerator is activated and how much the brakes are pulling you back. If the brakes are too strong, even the best plan for fun won’t get you far. But when you find a way to ease off those brakes, the Plex becomes way more enjoyable.
So how can you release some of the brakes?
Take note of what’s putting the brakes on your ability to enjoy those moments. What mental distractions, stress, or responsibilities are keeping you from being fully present? Once you identify those brakes, you can work on releasing them—at least for a while—so you can really embrace the joy of Plex. For the future, plan in advance so that some of those brakes can be addressed. Maybe talk to your spouse, get a babysitter, reschedule your day, or find someone else to play with. Maybe you’re hungry, or there’s something on your mind that’s distracting you. Whatever it is, recognizing what’s causing the brake and taking steps to relieve it can make all the difference.
And while you’re thinking about this, also reflect on what your personal accelerators are. What excites you? What makes you feel alive and ready to dive into something? How can you bring more of that energy into your life, even in the small, everyday moments? Music, having some time for yourself before the day begins, a warm tea?
Don’t forget to be kind to yourself. It’s easy to feel like you should be doing something ‘important’ all the time, but giving yourself permission to Plex isn’t a waste. In fact, it’s an essential part of staying balanced, creative, and energized for the rest of your life. So, try to let go of (some of) that guilt and let yourself enjoy the moment without judgment.
The best part? Plex itself can actually help you keep this balance going. The more you engage in Plex, the easier it gets to let go of stress and connect with the present moment. It’s like a loop: more Plex, less stress, and the cycle feeds itself. So the more you practice easing off the brakes and activating the accelerator, the more naturally Plex flows into your life.
